{"id":1255,"date":"2023-11-17T06:14:39","date_gmt":"2023-11-17T14:14:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/infonews.ca\/inhome\/yo-mama-20-ways-ill-get-even-with-my-crazy-toddler-when-hes-older\/"},"modified":"2023-11-18T10:30:00","modified_gmt":"2023-11-18T18:30:00","slug":"yo-mama-20-ways-ill-get-even-with-my-crazy-toddler-when-hes-older","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/infonews.ca\/inhome\/news\/1255\/yo-mama-20-ways-ill-get-even-with-my-crazy-toddler-when-hes-older\/","title":{"rendered":"YO MAMA: 20 ways I\u2019ll get even with my crazy toddler when he\u2019s older"},"content":{"rendered":"

There is no shortage of hilariously absurd moments when you live with a toddler.<\/p>\n

My two-year-old son has zero self-awareness of how ridiculously funny he can be.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, I daydream about ways to get even with him when he's older by taking inspiration from his own antics.<\/p>\n

Fun ways I’ll get even with my crazy toddler when he’s older<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. While at his house for lunch, spontaneously dump my glass of milk out all over the floor. Then run away laughing while he cleans it up.<\/p>\n

2. Take one bite of the from-scratch meal he made for me, chew it up into a sludge, then spit it out on my chair.<\/p>\n

3. Squeeze out all his toothpaste and shove his toothbrush down the sink.<\/p>\n

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<\/p>\n

4. Take every card out of his wallet and scatter them across the floor.<\/p>\n

5. Run away and hide from him in a public place.<\/p>\n

6. Make him carry me back to the car.<\/p>\n

7. Spill water all over myself while we’re having dinner at a restaurant.<\/p>\n

8. Sit in the back seat while he drives me somewhere and scream at him. Then throw rice puffs all over the backseat of his car.<\/p>\n

9. Rip the pages out of his new magazines.<\/p>\n

10. Push all the buttons on his TV remote so nothing works.<\/p>\n

11. Refuse to wear pants when we leave the house.<\/p>\n

12. Steal his car keys and push the car alarm at 6 am.<\/p>\n

13. Sneeze in his face then wipe my runny nose on his shirt sleeve.<\/p>\n

14. Come over while he’s folding the laundry then dump it all out of the hamper while laughing maniacally.<\/p>\n

15. Run into his house with my boots on tracking muddy footprints all over his carpet.<\/p>\n

16. Rearrange all the books on his shelf. Then take a bite out of one.<\/p>\n

17. Pull all the clothes off the hangers.<\/p>\n

18. Immediately spill something like blueberry jam or tomato sauce on a new shirt he just gave me.<\/p>\n

19. Jump on his bed until the springs break.<\/p>\n

20. Make him watch me jump off the couch onto a pile of pillows 10,000 times.<\/p>\n

What fun ways will you get even with your crazy toddler?<\/p>\n

— Charlotte Helston gave birth to her first child, a rambunctious little boy, in the spring of 2021. Yo Mama is her weekly reflection on the wild, exhilarating, beautiful, messy, awe-inspiring journey of parenthood.<\/em><\/p>\n

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There is no shortage of hilariously absurd moments when you live with a toddler. My two-year-old son has zero self-awareness of how ridiculously funny he can be. Sometimes, I daydream about ways to get even with him when he's older by taking inspiration from his own antics. Fun ways I’ll get even with my crazy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":310,"featured_media":4001,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"guid":"","source":"iNFOnews","byline":"Charlotte Helston","published":"2023-11-17T06:14:39","updated":"2023-11-18T10:30:00","_infotelid":"IT101669","_prepressid":"101669","_multisite_post_sync":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[542,2,819],"tags":[568,821,820,706,33],"region":[322,323,324,325],"class_list":["post-1255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured4","category-inhome","category-op-general","tag-bc","tag-opinion-editorial","tag-social","tag-vernon","tag-yo-mama","region-kamloops","region-kelowna","region-penticton","region-vernon"],"blocksy_meta":[],"parsely":{"version":"1.1.0","canonical_url":"https:\/\/infonews.ca\/inhome\/news\/1255\/yo-mama-20-ways-ill-get-even-with-my-crazy-toddler-when-hes-older\/","smart_links":{"inbound":0,"outbound":0},"traffic_boost_suggestions_count":0,"meta":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"YO MAMA: 20 ways I\u2019ll get even with my crazy toddler when he\u2019s older","url":"http:\/\/infonews.ca\/inhome\/news\/1255\/yo-mama-20-ways-ill-get-even-with-my-crazy-toddler-when-hes-older\/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"http:\/\/infonews.ca\/inhome\/news\/1255\/yo-mama-20-ways-ill-get-even-with-my-crazy-toddler-when-hes-older\/"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/infonews.ca\/inhome\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/MediaItemID101669-5891.png?w=150&h=150&crop=1","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https:\/\/infonews.ca\/inhome\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/MediaItemID101669-5891.png"},"articleSection":"featured4","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Charlotte Helston"}],"creator":["Charlotte Helston"],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"iNhome","logo":""},"keywords":["bc","opinion-editorial","social","vernon","yo mama"],"dateCreated":"2023-11-17T14:14:39Z","datePublished":"2023-11-17T14:14:39Z","dateModified":"2023-11-18T18:30:00Z"},"rendered":"