How some B.C. Interior bars are assisting women on bad dates

An attempt by some area drinking establishments to protect vulnerable women on bad dates is getting some cautious approval from area women groups who hope the idea spreads.

Last summer, a Penticton bar officially adopted and advertised a fake drink order on the menu that women would only order if they needed assistance on a date. Ordering this drink alerts bar staff that a woman needs assistance.

The Mule Concert House and Bar isn’t the first to embrace it, but general manager Miriam Sklar says she saw the need last year to get on board after realizing a lot of first dates were happening there.

"If someone is feeling that their date is not going quite the way it should and they are not feeling comfortable, they can come up to our bartender, server or any staff member and order an ‘angel shot.’ That automatically brings our team’s attention to that person’s situation,” Sklar says.

A woman can also order “extras” that will signal the need for an escort to their vehicle, or a friend, escort or police officer needs to be called. If it works correctly, it should all be done without the risk of escalating the situation if the date is unaware she just asked for help.

Sklar said online sites like Tinder and Match have become the norm for people meeting significant others.

“As more and more people are dating others they don’t know, what we are seeing is a lot more of these dates taking place in very public areas,” Sklar says.

Patrons are alerted to the program through posters set up in the washroom and behind the bar.

“I hope we never need to use it. We just wanted to ensure that something was in place in the instance that we need it,” she says.

Kelowna Women's Shelter executive director Karen Mason says she’s heard of several programs similar to Angel Shot and thinks it just might be an idea worth sharing.

“On its face it sounds like a great idea — anything that will give women a sense of another option, another tool, to help them feel safe when they are not feeling it, has the potential to be a great thing,” she says.

Mason says she’s only seen and heard of the programs online, but doesn’t know of its use anywhere in Kelowna.

Mason did note the potential for its misuse if the wrong person, such as the person the woman is trying to get away from should hear her ordering it.

“That might create some issues. The education has to be so far flung, so staff, bartenders all know about it, and have been trained in how to support a woman in danger, but I think it has a lot of potential. It’s an interesting idea, for sure,” she says.

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