Kelowna philanthropist’s short, cocaine-fuelled relationship cost him $5M after court battle

A prominent Kelowna philanthropist, who once donated $1 million to Kelowna General Hospital, has been ordered to pay $5.1 million after a cocaine-fuelled relationship with a woman three decades his junior ended in a lengthy court battle.

According to an Oct. 17 BC Supreme Court decision, Thomas Alan Budd argued that he was never in a marriage-like relationship with his former partner, Kaitlynn Vanessa Fleury, because they were together less than two years.

He also claimed she never loved him, so their time together could not be considered a marriage-like relationship, despite him buying her a $60,000 engagement ring and the two living together.

The decision says the 67-year-old retired former investment banker, who’s worth $150 million, met Fleury in 2017 when she was recommended to him as a massage therapist.

The two became friends, and Fleury, 38, entered into a relationship with Budd in February 2019.

However, the relationship was chaotic, and the two indulged in rampant cocaine use and had frequent sex parties.

During the trial, there were strong allegations from both sides.

Budd claimed she manipulated him for his money and had an affair. Fleury claimed he was abusive and sued for “assault, battery, and intentional infliction of mental distress” though the court found no such thing.

When they separated in August 2021, Fleury argued she should have half of the family home, which was worth $13.2 million.

Budd adamantly disagreed, arguing they were never together in a marriage-like relationship for two years, so therefore, she wasn’t entitled to anything.

The two headed to the courtroom for a 55-day trial involving 22 witnesses and delivering a closing submission of almost 400 pages.

BC Supreme Court Justice Jacqueline Hughes laid out her verdict in a lengthy 39,000-word, 270-page decision.

Budd runs the Thomas Alan Budd Foundation and became a well-known philanthropist who has talked extensively about mental health after the death of his two teenage sons to suicide.

“Mr. Budd has experienced significant challenges over the course of his adult life. He began using cocaine when he was 48 years old and developed a drug addiction that he has struggled with ever since,” Justice Hughes said in the decision.

The decision says he’s undergone rehab multiple times but is prone to relapses.

“Mr. Budd described these relapses as ‘runaways,’ which he testified can involve multiple days of staying in hotels and engaging in compulsive drug use and sexual activity,” the Justice said.

Their relationship began after Budd developed a close friendship with Fleury in 2017 and began going for massages with her two or three times a week. A while later, the massage therapist and yoga teacher separated from her partner and got together with Budd.

“Mr. Budd expected that the significant age difference between him and Ms. Fleury would be an issue for her parents and wanted to reassure them of his honest intention to pursue a committed relationship with her,” the decision reads.

In October 2018, he flew her parents out to his place in California.

Not long after they got together, Fleury stopped working.

“Mr. Budd’s lifestyle and the extensive travel they were doing together was not conducive to maintaining her client base. From the outset of the relationship, Mr. Budd provided Ms. Fleury with a monthly allowance and access to his credit cards,” the Justice said.

He proposed on Knox Mountain and bought her a $60,000 engagement ring.

In early 2020, the two discussed signing a formal relationship agreement, more commonly known as a prenup, and hired lawyers.

“However, no agreement was reached at that time, and the draft agreement remained unsigned,” the Justice said.

The decision says that in the summer of 2020, Budd’s father died, which exacerbated his struggles with addiction.

“It is common ground that both Ms. Fleury and Mr. Budd’s drug use worsened in 2020,” the Justice said. 

While he stayed clean for some periods, when they were both in Kelowna they resumed “heavy use” of drugs and began using crack cocaine. At one point during Fleury’s birthday party she was rushed to hospital.

However, that didn’t stop their lifestyle.

“The next day, the parties flew down to Vancouver on Mr. Budd’s plane to continue Ms. Fleury’s birthday celebrations as previously planned. The parties stayed at a hotel in Vancouver and their drug use continued. This was a volatile few days in their relationship,” the decision reads.

The decision says the couple argued a lot, and Budd at one point threatened to take away her credit cards.

He was increasingly demeaning and verbally abusive towards her, and Fleury recorded many of the conversations.

“Over the balance of the summer, the parties attempted to stop their drug use, but those efforts were short-lived and largely unsuccessful,” the Justice said. “Ms. Fleury also continued to spend significant sums of money over Mr. Budd’s objections, up to $25,000 per month.”

The decision paints the picture of a wild lifestyle, where multiple friends came over to their lakeside property and took a vast amount of drugs.

And along with the drugs, the couple also engaged in sex with other people.

“This predominantly occurred when they were using drugs and involved Ms. Fleury having sexual intercourse with other men while Mr. Budd was present,” the Justice said.

Fleury argued she was coerced into it, but the Justice didn’t buy it.

“Fleury’s assertion of coercion is difficult to reconcile with her evidence that she and Mr. Budd chose the escorts they would engage with together, and that she was only comfortable engaging with a small number of other men, not a multitude of different partners,” the Justice said.

The decision says some of the sexual partners testified during the trial – one said they’d responded to an online posting for a “sex party.”

“(One participant) was invited over to the Fuller Property in July 2020, after responding to a posting on a dating app. He met Mr. Budd and Ms. Fleury, who was dressed in lingerie, and engaged in sexual intercourse with her with Mr. Budd present. (He) was asked to return two more times that same evening and engaged in further sexual activity with Ms. Fleury with Mr. Budd present. At no point did Ms. Fleury appear to him to be forced or an unwilling participant,” the Justice said.

Another person testified that they were invited to a “sex party” at the house by a friend.

“He engaged in sexual activity with Mr. Budd, while his friend engaged with Ms. Fleury. He observed Ms. Fleury to be very confident and comfortable with the situation,” the decision reads.

In early 2021, they both made considerable efforts to get sober, and consulted with a shaman and underwent treatment with ibogaine, a psychoactive drug.

By August 2021, the relationship was over.

Budd, who at one time drove a $2-million Porsche, said he was in love with Fleury and referred to her as “the love of his life.” 

She testified that she was also in love with Mr. Budd.

However, Budd didn’t buy it and accused her of deceiving him, saying she has a history of manipulating men for personal financial gain.

After days of testimony, the Justice wasn’t impressed with either of their evidence.

“His testimony was often rambling and he was frequently argumentative and confrontational in cross-examination, to the point where intervention from the Court was required. At times, Mr. Budd’s evidence appeared disassociated from the reality of the parties’ circumstances to the point of being absurd,” the Justice said.

She also had harsh words for Fleury’s evidence.

“Throughout her evidence, Ms. Fleury demonstrated a pattern of being less than forthright, and was at times deliberately misleading when it was to her advantage,” the Justice said.

The witnesses didn’t fare much better either.

The Justice found Fleury’s mother’s evidence “replete with unexplained inconsistencies” and Budd’s assistant, “shape(d) her evidence in favour of her long-time employer.”

Much of the court case revolved around whether the couple had been together for two years, as any less than two years meant Fleury couldn’t claim a stake in his finances.

The decision says Budd was acutely aware of this.

He accused her of “putting in time” until she crossed the two-year cohabitation mark. 

In evidence that they were together less than two years, Budd submitted a Facebook post which included a photo of a moving truck. 

“Well after nearly 13 years of living solo I am taking the plunge and Kaitlynn and I have decided to live together,” the post read.

However, the court found he made the post a year after they’d been living together.

“He posted it to substantiate a false public narrative that Ms. Fleury had only just moved into the Fuller property in December 2019, when they had in fact already been living together for almost a year,” the decision reads.

In cross-examination, he admitted the Facebook post was inaccurate.

Two handwritten letters were also submitted in evidence, one signed by Fleury saying she was financially independent.

“I am not dependent on Tom in any manner especially in financial terms,” one letter read.

Another letter written by Budd stated, “We have not lived together and I do not consider that we have acted as a married couple.”

“The existence of these two documents, their false and misleading content, and the role I find Mr. Budd played in their creation illustrate the lengths to which he was prepared to go in creating documentation with a view to substantiating a misleading narrative about when he and Ms. Fleury started living together and the nature of their relationship,” The Justice said.

After a lengthy analysis of the evidence, Justice Hughes said the two had been in a marriage-like relationship, regardless of their motivations.

“The parties’ respective reasons for being in a marriage-like relationship may be different, but that does not negate the finding of a subjective intention to be in a marriage-like relationship. Whether Ms. Fleury’s intentions were motivated by romantic love, financial factors, or some combination of these or other influences does not alter the nature or relevance of her intentions,” the Justice said.

As for her claims of abuse, Budd admitted to having “tussles” with Fleury, but the court ruled that none of the incidents amounted to assault or battery.

“This is consistent with the relevant portions of the resulting Kelowna RCMP police report, which noted that there were ‘No injuries … observed’ and ‘No signs of a struggle,’” the Justice said.

Fleury also blamed her cocaine use on him.

Again, the court wasn’t convinced.

“The evidence establishes that Ms. Fleury engaged in drug use prior to her relationship with Mr. Budd, and that her escalating drug use and transition to crack cocaine during the relationship was not forced on her by Mr. Budd. To the contrary, the parties frequently and voluntarily engaged in drug use together, and Ms. Fleury also used with friends and neighbours,” the Justice said.

After parsing through all the evidence, the Justice dismissed many of Fleury’s claims, but did rule she could have half the family house.

The ruling leaves her with $5,145,892.